Post-Vacation Vacation

Sometimes life hands you lemons. When it does, you make lemonade. Put that lemonade in the fridge and drink it later when you have back to back vacation weeks like I did.

It was honestly a blessing that Jillian had a Dental Conference in Destin, Florida that started the day I got back from the cruise. I really did not want to go back to work (even though I would be working remotely from the hotel room in the morning hours). My body was also pretty thrilled with the prospect of a few days of recovery.
The only downside to this trip, initially, was that my starting point was New Orleans; roughly 300 miles away. I had carpooled with my friend Chandler to New Orleans, so I had to make a detour in Mobile to get my truck and then another in Daphne to check on the pets and do a few quick house chores. In all, the trip took about 5.5 hours. Completely worth it.
I actually made it to the Hilton Sandestin around 5pm so there wasn't much time for me to enjoy the sand and sun but we had plenty of time to go out for dinner. Jillian already had a pretty good lay of the land as she had been to this hotel in the past, so she drove us down the street to a shopping center that had a PF Changs (one of her favorites). Jillian wasn't thrilled that I made a stink about our seating arrangements; but I wasn't comfortable being closely wedged between two other groups when there were a lot of available booths around the restaurant. There was also an issue with them not having a signature adult beverage at this location, but they did a pretty good job of appeasing us again by making something similar. To make sure we were complete pains, we made special orders that weren't exactly on the menu. The staff was very accommodating again and our whole meal was enjoyable. It was on this trip that we also came across a little boutique store that Jillian really enjoyed called "Altar'd State". It took me a while to realize why they were playing so much christian music in the store. It was a nice place. Jillian ended up buying a purse?... backpack... thing as well as a nice picture frame that she plans on keeping a wedding photo in.
I was given pretty specific instructions the night before to wake up early and beat the "umbrella guy" to the beach in the morning. I was glad I followed those instructions b/c that guy gets up early and lines nearly the entire beach-front with Hilton chairs and umbrellas that they charge $40/day to use. The only exception is for those who beat him there and set up their own stuff before he gets there. I got a pretty good spot and then went back to our room to do a little work while Jillian was in her continuing education classes downstairs. Afterwards we would both go down to the beach for several hours before we went somewhere in the evenings for dinner/entertainment. The beach stories are pretty much the same as when we're in Gulf Shores, so I'll post some pictures and then note some high points in our evenings from here on. (and in no particular order b/c I can't really remember what happened when)

I think our second evening out we went to a place called the Village at Baytown Wharf, b/c Jillian really wanted to go back to a place called 'Cabos' for their excellent Tacos Al Carbon. Unfortunately, not enough people liked their tacos, and the building was in mid-renovation to become a subway. After perusing the strip of restaurants in the area, we decided to try another mexican place called Agave Azule, which also offered tacos al carbon and other "made from scratch, authentic Mexican dishes". To make a long story short, the place was awful; mainly because the food was inedible. Thankfully, they took our food off the bill. I think this was the night that we also played some putt-putt golf down the road.
I may be wrong but I believe the next two nights we were in basically the same place. We parked at the HarborWalk Village in Destin for a few minutes and walked around looking at what they had to offer, which wasn't a lot, but we were interested in trying Harry T's the next day during the first NFL game of the season. After we were done looking around we drove across the street to McGuire's Irish Pub. I had been to the location in Pensacola, but not this one. We split some artichoke dip and sheppard's pie, wrote "The McKelroy Family - Oct 12, 2013" (our wedding date) on a dollar bill, stapled it to the ceiling almost directly above one of their beer brewing boiler(?) and then went to check out their gift shop. Jillian ended up getting herself a nice Irish knot magnet for the fridge and we both got some nice t-shirts.

Harry T's was an enjoyable experience the following night. We showed up right in time for a game that ended up being delayed for about an hour and a half due to thunder storms in Denver. The Broncos were playing the Ravens to open up the season. Jillian is a Denver Bronco fan and luckily there weren't that many Ravens fans around to argue with. Inside Harry T's there is only communal seating and it was also EXTREMELY loud, so we grabbed the end of a table in the back corner were it wasn't quite so bad. I thought for a while we would end up being alone as the other tables filled in, but we weren't so lucky. Three drunk individuals ended up occupying the seats across from us. Deuteronomy Dan was the eldest; A proud ex-preacher turned war veteran. Dan was accompanied by his new wife (who I believe was partially deaf and step-son who was partially terrified to be out with these two in public). Dan reminded me a lot of my friend Kevin's step-father 'Pop'. Dan wasn't afraid to screw with you or say whatever he wanted. He was also somewhat full of bs that I felt comfortable calling him out on during our conversations. Deuteronomy Dan, as he was called as a radio preacher, definitely made our dining experience memorable. As he was leaving, he was kind enough to buy Jillian and I a round for our troubles. Side Note: Though I didn't get to watch much of the game b/c of Dan, we did get to see Denver (mostly Peyton Manning) put a hurting on the Ravens, so it was a good end to dinner.
Our last day at the beach we packed up early, I wrote a tripadvisor review of the hotel and then we went to the pool/beach deck area. I wish I had held off on my review b/c there was a deck nazi going around telling people there was a $400 fine for bottled drinks on the deck or beach and he was checking coolers. I personally thought it was a bit over the top. Before heading back home, we grabbed some lunch from the pool bar. Odd note: some guy came up to the bar dancing... and started dancing more the second I made eye contact. I shouldn't have laughed but I couldn't help it. I'm an enabler.
The drive back was a long three hours. It always is, especially coming back from a vacation of any distance. We did make a single gas stop on the way back and I bought some lotto tickets (forgot to mention that I also had some from New Orleans). I obviously didn't win with either pair.
Overall, a very good set of back to back trips.

My England / Ireland Trip Videos - March 2008

Somehow, I never got around to either writing about my trip or posting the videos I took while there.

I'll note that these are VERY LONG videos. Please also take into consideration, I love to hear myself talk and I think everything I say is funny, so please be prepared for A LOT of bad jokes. I think I also use "Ancient" and "Apparently" roughly three thousand times in these videos. There's also a portion of video #2 that was narrated by a traveling companion. It's a little obvious when you hear my "voice change".

If you even make it to the St. Patrick's Day parade video, you should know that the footage is extremely long and boring (even though the Auburn Marching Band is playing in downtown Dublin). You might want to just skip past that whole section. Personally, I like Ireland Tape 2 the most.

Enjoy...?

London England Tape 1 & 2:

 Dublin, Ireland:

Blarney, Ireland & Ring of Kerry:

"... and Cozumel took him" pt 3 - END

Saturday:
Unlike the previous morning, I woke up around 8 am to the sound of Chandler's phone alarm with a cabin door that remained shut. It was the day of disembarkation in Cozumel, Mexico so it wasn't difficult to become fully conscious. As I think I mentioned in part 1, I had never been to Mexico nor had it been on my travel lists but I was eager to add another country's stamp to my passport (It wasn't until later that I found they don't stamp passports for cruise passengers). We were all up pretty early and hanging around outside our cabin doors, so most of us went up for a quick breakfast before getting ready to hit the shore. I took a couple photos from the buffet area and deck outside.

I had originally planned to save the cash I brought on board for Mexico, but had unwisely spent the majority of it in the casino. Thankfully the ship had a few ATM's, so I pulled out a couple hundred just in case. Kevin had decided to bring a backpack off the boat with him and was gracious enough to keep all of our passports on him while off ship. I put my drivers license, a backup credit card and my cash in the secret compartments in my Reef 'stash-flops' (that you can no longer buy in the US... or anywhere really, but you can Google it). Those on the boat knew that I was very proud of my sandals. Perhaps too proud.
Once we got word from the crew that we could jump ship, we made our way to the lower level to hop on the pier. Unfortunately, Awag forgot his ever-important "Sail-n-Sign" card so he and his roommate Joey had to go back to the rooms to grab it while we waited outside. I remember that Jay was standing on the edge of the pier during our wait and there was a brief moment where I considered pretending to push him into the water. Despite it looking very shallow b/c the water was so clear, it could have been 100 ft deep. The idea passed when it dawned on me that, having only known Jay for a couple of days, the threat of a relative stranger pushing you into the ocean wasn't beyond the boundaries of a possible reality, so it was probably a better idea to pass on the humor. In an alternate universe, I probably did it... and the result was hilarious.

Once Awag was back, and having narrowly escaped the grasp of the fake Mayans posing for photos, we made our way through the mini-outlet mall at the port to the rental car strip. We ended up saving a couple bucks by talking the Dollar Rental Car guy down to $210 (w/insurance) for two, day-long jeep rentals. It took a few minutes after we got the jeeps to get on the road but traffic became pretty light as soon as we got out of the parking lot, heading south.

Kevin and Joey were "DD's" for the trip. At least Kevin took that responsibility seriously. Our first stop was a couple miles down the road at Carlos and Charlies Beach Club. It was our first opportunity to buy beer outside of the port so we took it. We grabbed a couple overpriced cervezas ($5/each) and stuck our toes in the clean Mexican sand. I didn't take the following photo, but it's basically where we stood.

I think we all had the feeling that this place was pretty much an instant bust, so a few of us grabbed a road beer as we got back in the Jeeps. One of my main goals for the day was to see authentic Mayan ruins, so we made our next pit stop at a spot on our Carnival Excursion Map called El Cedral. Supposedly, the site was a small temple that was later accompanied by a small catholic church. I would say this stop would have been a huge bust as well, but Chandler was able to buy a hooded poncho, I found a fresh margarita stand and we all got a bunch of Sol beers from a little convenient store for $2/each (or 6 for $10).

We also took this opportunity to try to find a short cut across the island by following a questionable looking vehicle down a gravel road for about half a mile before they stopped, got out of their car and started walking towards us waving and shaking their heads 'no'. Though I didn't at the time, I now find it humorous that, at that moment, I had looked in the rear view to see Kevin's jeep going about 80mph in reverse and seeing nothing between our jeeps but a large cloud of dust. I'll note that Joey was also pretty quick in getting us away from the situation. Both vehicles had moved just far enough away from "danger" to stop and let everyone urinate on the side of the road; more or less right in front of someone's house. Not the classiest American move we'd made that day... but sometimes you can't wait for a clean gas station bathroom.

We had to backtrack a little to get back on the main road around the island. We rounded the southern tip and made our third, and best (IMO), stop around the red flag you see on the map above. It wasn't really on the map as an acceptable normal stop, but the shacks that had been constructed looked stable enough. They had hammocks nearby, beer for sale and beach access. That's pretty much all we needed. I wouldn't be surprised if we stayed there for a good hour. The water felt fantastic and was perceived as exceptionally clean until we all disclosed the number of times we had each pissed in it. (sorry for being so crass). I know at some point someone had said to me, "I think I may have seen a no swimming sign". I couldn't see one displayed so I ignored it. It wasn't until after we returned home that I was informed by Jillian's mother, who is a frequent cruiser to Cozumel, that we were indeed swimming in an area known for strong undertow and not too far from hammerhead infested areas. We left about the time I knew I was getting a sunburn. Other notable events: Kevin jumping off the rocks into what was essentially three feet of water. I'm pretty sure a jelly fish stung me on the leg. Awag also seemingly decided to swim halfway to Cuba there towards the end and, before we called him back in to leave, Jay and I discussed how we would explain his disappearance if he had just kept going. We decided on ending his storied adventure with "and Cozumel took him", which explains the title of these posts.

At this point, we had run out of beer so we packed it up and continued driving North along the eastern coast of the island. We decided to pass on the majority of beach side bars and start making our way toward the largest of the Mayan ruins. I say "we", but I mean "I". I think it was the only time I pulled the "it's my bachelor party" card. I don't think anyone else gave a crap about seeing piles of rocks, but I definitely appreciated everyone paying their $8 to walk around the woods with me. Ultimately, I was a little disappointed that there weren't giant temples to climb, but it was still something that not everyone gets to see in life and I was thankful to be able to see it and felt comfortable marking it off my bucket list.

We called it quits on island exploration after the ruins. Driving through town on the way back was a bit of a confusing pain in the ass, but we made it to the rental lot before the ship left, so that was the important part. There was a giant Hard Rock Cafe sign across the street from the port so we decided to eat lunch there. Unfortunately, they had yet to build the actual restaurant, so we gave up and boarded the boat; opting to eat buffet food again.

It wasn't long after lunch that college football games had started so we pulled up chairs at a table closest to the bar in the back of the buffet hall. I believe the first games on the schedule involved Texas A&M and UGA v Clemson. We had probably been sitting there a minute or two before an LSU gypsy asked if she could sit down at our table. Telling her "no" was probably the smartest thing I had said all weekend. Unfortunately, she wasn't very good at listening and sat there anyway. gypsy's can smell weakness and we soon had a couple more heading our way... so I decided I would rather just stand at the bar. It was a good decision b/c the 'view' at the bar was better and there were more intelligent fans to talk to, apart from the Bama fan (I had to explain to him that it was possible to make the National Championship game without playing in the SEC Championship game by "reminding" him that his own team had done it within the last two years). I remember at some point turning around to look at the table and seeing Gavin surrounded by circus folk. Sucker. Football outweighed bad food, so the majority of us stuck around the bar through our scheduled dinner downstairs. I'm sure everyone around our table was relieved by the lack of participation.
The on-shore excursions/ evening football combo had really taken it out of me, so I made another attempt at going to bed early; this time at 8pm. Kevin was pretty much all over this one as well and I ended up at the craps table in the Casino.
I've been around a craps table many a time but had never actually participated. I decided to give it a shot this time and, for the most part, was pretty successful at winning money... for people around me. I had a pretty good system for rolling the die, even though I don't remember what it was now. I did end up rolling off the table a few times and then my streak ended. Later, I won JD $100 on a field bet. In the end, I won myself about negative fifty dollars. Afterwords, I joined some of the other guys at the club where we hung out until it was time for our customary 3am pizza. I think the only thing that made this night different was that Joey (I think) had ordered me two Tequila shots. I'll say that I never felt drunk... but after those shots and pizza, I certainly didn't feel great. Note: Listened to a really really drunk guy play Beethoven (maybe) on the piano outside of 'da club. He was surprisingly great considering he could barely keep his eyes open.
Somehow, my card wouldn't work on my room door, so JD and Kevin offered me a spot on their floor for the night. It did the job.

Sunday:
It was probably around 6 or 7 when I woke the sound of the TV that Kevin was watching. Like normal, he was up early. I found the sound so pleasant, that I stood up walked into the bathroom and promptly vomited. I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with the tequila shots. I was able to wake Chandler for entrance into our room and access my mouthwash. I crawled into bed afterward and slept until 2pm. The following afternoon shower felt extra cleansing for some reason.
Chandler and I had some sandwiches for late lunch and then joined everyone at the back deck pool. We lounged around until around 5:30, then I ran off to get dressed for our last formal dinner. Luckily I got to watch a bit of the Louisville game (specifically Mike Dyer) after getting dressed. Gavin and Joey opted for extra pool time and the buffet dinner over our sit down meal. It was a convenient absence for our pool friends from Hartselle as they had apparently had a little too much to drink that day and missed the early dinner time, so we offered them our empty seats. I have a note that I ordered meatloaf... apparently that was important.

I didn't even make an attempt to go to bed early this time, as I knew it was a fool's dream. I did however swing by my room with Chandler to tag our checked baggage and leave it outside our door for midnight pickup(Note to self: Don't do this in the future). Afterward, I went to the bar outside of the Casino and drank my last Foster's Keg-Sized beer while listening to an all Asian band play cover songs from the 80s. It was a pretty awesome end to the night. I think I actually snuck off to bed around 11pm.

Monday:

Because Chandler and I had checked luggage, everyone had to wait until passengers without checked luggage got off the boat (Except for Jay who was let off early to catch a flight). The wait to get off wasn't terribly long, nor was getting our luggage and going through US customs. I don't know why I freak out every time I walk past a drug dog... it's not like I'm a mule... OR AM I?
I think it took about an hour or so to finally get off the ship and to Chandlers car.
We drove to Mobile.
I drove to Destin Florida to meet Jillian for vacation.
This blog took forever.
I'm done.

"... and Cozumel took him" pt 2 - aka Friday

There's only one proper way to follow a late night of drunken debauchery on a cruise ship, and that's waking up at 8am in your boxers, on top of your bed covers staring at your friend in the hallway who asks, "did you leave your door open all night?". In that respect, I followed standard procedure to a T. When I went to bed, I was almost certain I had closed the door, but obviously that was not the case. Kevin, who had been up since 6am and also sober the night before, was the one lucky (or unlucky) enough to witness the site and had decided that my subconscious had willed the door stay open in the hopes that random ladies would take advantage of my roommate and I in the night. My subconscious is a filthy place... so I didn't make any arguments.
Whether I liked it or not, I was wide awake at this point (as was Chandler) and we decided to head to the pool while Kevin ran off to check something out (what, I don't recall). I'll say that despite the lack of judging eyes up and about at the time, I felt very uncomfortable at the main pool and slowly made my way to the pool on the back of the ship. My notes are a little sparse, but I think Chandler and I were the first people in the pool and hot tubs that morning. I remember that Kevin showed up at some point and it's around this time that we ran into Tiffany the teacher and Jennifer the librarian from Hartselle, AL. Tiffany was an Auburn fan by proof of ball cap, so we had no problem chatting it up with them about football. Somehow we got on the topic of Tiffany's requirements for a husband and I remember her top 3 were: Must own a truck nicer than hers, must have a job and must own a pocket knife. I think we all got a kick out of the her "high standards"; that and both of their super thick north Alabama accents. I think the rest of our party was starting to trickle in to the back pool about the time I was beginning to prune up, so I decided to go get some lunch.
This was my first experience with the buffet on the ship and I believe the cuisine was creole inspired. The line was fairly long and I was in no mood to wait so I grabbed a desert and started looking for a seat. It was during my table exploration that I discovered, and immediately fell in love with, the deli sandwich station. I put my desert on a table and promptly entered the left lane (of two) b/c it had two people working that side instead of one. I soon learned that this lane wasn't quicker b/c one of the guys working my line was a trainee. I should have known better. It was a rookie mistake. I ended up getting the chicken salad sandwich and as I sat down I immediately regretted not getting a second one. I was vastly more hungry than I initially thought so I went back for another. Fool me once, shame on you... so this time I got in the right lane behind a Nubian Queen with a rear the size of a small horse. I shouldn't have been surprised when she ordered half the menu (and then got in the salad line), but I had been too entranced by the thought of eating a delicious turkey sandwich to have solved that equation in advance. Another long wait caused me to lose my table b/c the bus boys in the buffet area are a effective genetic mix of Haru, the great white ninja, and Mr Clean (I really wanted to reference Mr. Bubble... but it didn't quite fit the story). I decided to try outside and ended up with a great view of the water churning behind the boat. I even got a glimpse of a pretty large sea turtle... turtling around.

I ate up my dope-ass chocolate chip cookie, seen above, and went back to my room. I thought a nice mid-day nap was in order but I ended up watching reruns of 'Bones' on TNT with Chandler for probably an hour or more. As it should have been, a couple of people ended up knocking on our door not long after, bitched us out for being lazy and we both made our way back out to the pool. In some ways, I wish I hadn't gone back. The beer and company were great, but through random conversation, we all discovered that some of the other passengers on the boat, and currently drinking with us in the pool, knew my wife-to-be. One had even gone to dental school with her at UAB and was her current orthodontist. "Well, this party's over..." was my initial thought, but the more drunk they became, the less I was concerned. I would say around 4pm everyone started leaving the pool area for the dinner. Early dinner folks had already run off and the majority of us went to the Serenity Deck (adults only) for 'cleaner' hot tubs. Fast forward about an hour and JD and I are in the hot tub with an older gentleman from Birmingham named Larry. He and his partner owned a large number of Subway restaurants in North Alabama and were veritable cruise addicts. I believe they said they tried to go on one every other week. The three of us talked politics, the decline of western civilization and our plans to escape the country upon economic meltdown. It was very enjoyable.
Dinner time was quickly approaching, so we ran off to change. I met up with Chandler in the room and, after getting dressed up for dinner, we went to check out the ship's 'fun store'; I must have missed the fun part. When we got to our table for dinner, Joey (I think) noted that he had started to tell someone on the staff where we were located when walking in and she responded with, "Oh, we know what table you're at". I was glad we had left such a good impression from the night before. The dinner wasn't impressive, but I realized I could order as much as I wanted, so I did... and it was definitely too much. Fat and tired, I decided to call it an early night and went to bed around 9pm. a couple minutes after I closed my door, Joey came knocking. By some miracle, telling him I was going to call it an early night worked... and he ran off to the casino. Kevin, however, was not satisfied with that idea. I was basically forced out of bed around 10pm and headed back upstairs. It turned out to be a good turn of events. We went back to the club, ran into the very drunk dental crew as well as our Kansas City friends who had somehow acquired a plastic alligator mask. A lot of drinking and dancing ensued. I think "Pez Dispenser" was discovered that night... twerkin' it on the dance floor all by herself. Tragic. We took some photos and then all went out for late night pizza again. KC Erica decided it was a good idea to eat pizza through the mouth hole of her gator mask. That was the end of the mask and our night. I think our entire crew was in bed by around 3am. This time, I made sure the door was closed.

"... and Cozumel took him" pt 1.

I will admit that I had my doubts about this bachelor party trip before hitting the road; a Carnival Cruise from New Orleans to Cozumel and back. Granted, I found the idea vastly superior to another trip to Vegas. I have a very long list of travel desires and neither a cruise nor Cozumel (or Mexico as a whole) had ever been on it. I'm a long stay/flights type of guy... or at least I was until disembarkation this past Monday. Mexico can keep Cozumel... but I'm now sold on the idea of cruising for short trips. Before I explain the story behind this change of heart, I'm obligated to honor a verbal agreement and start this blog post with a song; mostly appropriate for the long weekend that I already miss.

Wednesday: 

Technically, the trip began the day before our ship left the terminal. Chandler and I opted to make things easier on ourselves and actually wake up in New Orleans instead of driving there in the early morning hours. It also gave us an excuse to spend a little time downtown, filling our evening with alcohol and other various debaucheries. However, we forgot that we are not in our twenties and by the time we got downtown we were more interested in getting dinner, taking a spin around the Carousel Bar for the novelty of it and then sleeping. Don't judge us... the beds at the New Orleans Marriott are very enticing. In hind-site, I would say we made an excellent decision. For dinner, we walked a few blocks to 'The Gumbo Shop' ,spying the filming of a Popeye's Chicken commercial as we walked in the door. I took the opportunity there to separate myself from the common tourist by ordering the gumbo sampler... which was delicious. Side Note: They make a killer Chocolate Fudge Brownie. 

As mentioned above, we took a few minutes after our meal to swing by the Carousel Bar for a drink. I had never been to the place so I was happy that we showed up on a Wednesday and it was relatively empty. I was told it could take hours to get on the spinning seats but we managed to find an opening in a couple minutes. The place was nice/unique enough to warrant a terrible smart phone picture. See attached:

After a drink and a few spins around the bar, Chandler and I decided to call it a night. I think we probably made it back to the Marriott around 9pm and Kevin showed up from his flight, knocking on our door, around 11pm. Sleeping Commenced.

Thursday:

There was a Christmas Morning feeling in the air when I woke up; perhaps because I'm naive. I knew old friends were in route and good times were to be had. While the majority of our crew was still driving to New Orleans, Chandler, Kevin and I hit the town in search of breakfast and entertainment. We found our breakfast at 'Stacey's' and the entertainment on every street we walked along. I think my favorite "street performer" was a gentleman in his 40s yelling, into his phone, at what I thought was his roommate until he said, "I'm not coming home right now mom". In between the drifter viewing we made a stop inside the St. Louis Cathedral so Chandler could confess his future sins and get a few credits for the cruise. I already had a lot of built up credit, so I opted to take the following photo instead.

We made a quick tour of Harrah's Casino and the Brooks Brothers store across the street, then walked back to the hotel around 11am for check out. Kevin ran off to hang out with his mom for lunch; Chandler and I drove around for roughly 6 years trying to find a parking spot closer to Jackson Square before we grabbed our pre-cruise mexican lunch (which was a very dangerous decision). I wish I could remember the name of the place that we ate because it was awesome, but lunch didn't take long and it was close enough to 12:30 that we could head toward the cruise terminal. We drove along side a train for half of our route and then, when we finally had to cross the tracks, were somehow both surprised by the fact that a train was there and was 5 car lengths from cutting Chandlers SUV in half. It is only now, as I write this, that I realize this 'almost train wreck' was God's way of foreshadowing.
Train behind us, we pulled into the $65 parking lot, wandered in and out of elevators and rooms until we figured out how to check luggage and get through security. Side Note: After my bags and I went though x-ray and metal detectors, respectively, I was told that I was to declare any liquids to the gentleman at the next table we came across. It dawned on me as I was opening my bags at the table that this process was essentially voluntary. Half the people just walked into the next room without stopping. Lesson learned. Dishonesty is the best policy. We were both on the boat pretty quickly after that so we took some time to check out as much of the boat as possible and go ahead and buy "Unlimited Coke" passes for ourselves (which ended up saving my wallet big-time). Another Side Note: I think it took all of 12 minutes to learn that English was probably not Carnival's primary/official language. That statistic wasn't helped by any of the Louisiana residents that boarded the boat either.

ALRIGHT, This is about the point in my trip that I stop remembering everything and must rely more heavily on the notes I put on my phone. Sorry, sometimes I drink alcohol...
I'm not exactly sure of the order in which everyone else starting arriving on the boat, but at some point, my checked luggage was kidnapped and held for ransom in Kevin/JD's room. I was a bit worried for a while that it had received special screening and I would be receiving a visit from the cruise nazis before we even left the port. Thankfully that wasn't the case. Once everyone was checked in, we took alcohol inventory and were pleased to find that nothing had been confiscated. In all, I believe we had about 1.5 L/person. I'd be willing to bet that a quarter of that amount was gone within the following 4 hours. I wont go into great detail about the evacuation training we went through, but I would like to reminisce about the unattractive, drunk woman that forcefully ... ground? grinded? thrust her ass onto Joey while he was pinned in place by a crowd. She had also just finished swimming so it made his pants looked like he had just pissed himself, which I suppose is what inspired her to proclaim to everyone around us that his pants were wet. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience for everyone but Joey.
Moving on.
LSU was playing their first game of the season that afternoon, so the majority of us grabbed a few drinks and made our way to the closest sports bar with the game on. We had to share the room with a few LSU fans which wasn't too bad. I got pretty friendly with one named Richard, who apparently is big on calling radio programs, and we talked all things SEC through the game. Once we ran out of things to discuss, I decided to get ready for Dinner. Apparently JD was on a similar page at this time, but his preparation involved less changing clothes and more adult beverage consumption. By the time I had returned to the sports bar, the entire room had filled and JD was in the back corner singing the "My Friend Adam... He's a Jewbathlic" song; which I will say is not a sign of complete sobriety. A few minutes later, we were walking downstairs for our first official dinner of the cruise.

Train wrecks can sometimes be avoided, like the scenario mentioned earlier. The one that happened Thursday night was destined. I'll admit my memory gets a little fuzzy at this point, but I know the following things happened, and not necessary in chronological order:
*JD Said, "Oh, Herrow" to our obviously asian server before we could even order food.
*JD flipped off the table behind us and then sat down with them for what seemed to be an hour. He attempted to sober up drastically after realizing that they worked for the same company.
*JD and Joey argued on whether or not Pharmacists and/or Network Security personnel had "clients"... fruitlessly
*Several people ordered different wines. Chandler Ordered a Foster's beer. All parts ended up in my wine glass.
*Gavin put the pepper shaker in my water. It didn't work the rest of the trip.
*Either Gavin or Kevin filled my menu with butter packages
*Most tables were done with their main course before we received our starters... and I think it was on purpose.
*JD Stole Gavin's Caesar Salad for no specific reason and then tried to put it, along with all following plates on the very narrow windowsill beside our table.
*Joey threw a crouton at JD, missing him and hitting a woman seated at the same table JD had just harassed.
*Gavin shattered his wine glass and spilled red wine over half the table; soaking our white table cloth.
*I took some disgusting shot that included Baileys.
*Chandler got tired of waiting for dinner and left... and we ended up sharing his lasagna 5 minutes after he left.
*We never received desert menus
*I apologized to tables as we left.
I can't recall much else... other than crying from laughing most of the dinner. I'm not even sure what I had to eat, apart from Chandler's food.

At this point, it was obvious that we were in the perfect state of mind to go gambling, so we made our way to the ship's casino. I can't remember if I had lost $50 before dinner or after, but it sure wasn't in my pocket the next day. Regardless, there was a good bit of gambling before our group split up. I know I walked out of the Casino with Jay... and Gavin ( I think). Chandler and AWag stayed put and at some point Chandler pissed off a sober woman by slapping either her or a friend on the ass. Details are sketchy. I can only assume that JD had died at this point, and Kevin was actively trying to resuscitate him (Roommates stick together). Anyway, it was around this time that Jay, Gavin and I ran into a couple of young ladies, Erica and Stacy, from the Kansas City area that became our 'Clubbin' Friends' for the evening. My notes say that all of our sub-groups met back up in the club at some point and shut it down around 3am. Thank god for the 24 hr pizza kitchen. My last note for the day says that Jay ate pizza with the group, got up, walked to his room and returned about an hour later yelling at us for leaving him at the club. It wasn't until the next day that we had convinced him he had, indeed, left us and become a late night "time-traveler".

There is obviously way too much story for one post. I'm going to stop here and break this sucker into parts.  Friday - Sunday coming soon...?