The Secret to New Age Marketing, Revealed!

Originally Posted: October 3, 2007

Current mood:bored

So, what is the secret to new age marketing?

Apparently it's IRRELAVANCY!

I'm now so confused by the correlation between product and "mini-series" commercials these days that I've had no choice but put my full attention on these brands.
Little Johnnie asks his mom: "Mom...  I'm studying for a test... can you help me with this reasoning section"
Mom: " I'll certainly try Johnnie"
Little Johnnie: " Modern Day Cavemen are to Car Insurance what Playing practical jokes on Sasquatch is to ________"
Mom: " Beef Jerky of course"
Little Johnnie: " But that doesn't make sense mom"
Mom: "Of course not... it's absolutely rediculous... but so was naming you Johnnie... just go with it... no one else has noticed"

Of the most obsurdly irrelavant commercial topics, one recent addition has topped them all in my opinion... and NO... it's not the Viva Viagra commercial.... I'll paint you a picture (of this radio commercial)

Birds chirping in the background.
Man: " I can remember when I used to ride my bike around my neighborhood... it was so relaxing"

Young girl: "dad was teaching me how to ride my bike without training wheels the other day... I was halfway down the street before I realized he had let go. It was like I was flying!"

Man 2: I was cycling for charity across the state when I met my wife. I never thought on a simple bike ride I would find a riding partner for life. Who knew riding a bike would change my life


Wow... I have forgotten how much I loved to ride my bike!... there must be a bike store opening around here... or maybe they are having a Schwinn sale at K-mart.


Announcer: "Don't you wish banking was as easy as riding a bike...."

.... wait.... ..... did I miss something? I'm sorry... I must have lost you at some point... did you say something about banking just now... during my bike commercial?
Don't get me wrong... I'm sure there is some part of me that would love for "banking" in general to be ... easier... in whatever vauge form of the word you intend it. However, what does riding a bike have to do with banking? something about easy? Is that your only cohesive metaphor? biking is like banking.
As off target as you are... you should have at least tried to fool young people by throwing in others like "spinning spokes are like the revolving door at the front of our bank" or "your foot on the pedals is like our efforts to satisfy our customers".
Sure, It sounds dumb. But from what I've heard it fits the commercial perfectly.

Personally, I've blamed Mentos for the downfall of quality commercials for years.