The Talk Filter

Originally Posted: October 1, 2006

Current mood:hungry

I think at some point during middle school I incurred a head injury that perminantly damaged my talk filter. For those unfamiliar with this bodily function, this is the portion of your brain that monitors what you are about to say. When a ludicrous, unsubstanciated "fact", crude comment, or anecdote that makes you look like a complete retard surfaces in your mind... the Talk Filter quickly squashes it, preventing its escape through your word hole. Because of this injury, at various points in time i have caught myself (far too late to reverse the effects and left grasping the air in an attempt to physically catch my verbiage) manufacturing some of the most embarassing one-liners at the worst times.

Lets have an example shall we. Perhaps a recent one. Last night will do.

William (Billy) Shurtz and I walk into Buffalo Wild Wings... after taking a moment to recover.... we enter the building. (ah... the comedy is golden today) Sitting down at the bar to get some beers the bartender asks if we want anything to eat. I tell him the Chicken Quesadilla and he talks about the  sauce they have on it: "I'm just asking because most people dont like it on there, I personally do... but you never know" My response: " Well, I'll try in this time, chances are I'll like it... I pretty much like anything I can put in my mouth." ... ... Well put adam... well put. Why not, " I am partial to all foods" or "There is little that I dislike when it comes to my dinner"? There is a moment of odd silence following this comment as I stare at the bartender in horror/shock... and he glances back with what I'm sure is a strong discomfort. To break the silence... I add "I really wish I could suck that one back" (*pounds fist to head*). I didn't see that bartender again.

Over the years I have found many like me... In Fact, some of them have become my best friends. A few of them have even coped with their broken filters and now speak freely without a thought of recourse or shame.

Ok.. I no longer remember where I was going with this blog... I'm a little hung over. So ... Adios!