Woke Up Drunk

Originally Posted: February 10, 2007

This morning I woke up hammered and covered in towels and dress shirts! I feel like vomiting... I want food... I started "spinning" about 10 minutes ago and I can't find food that I can eat without having to cook it. I have a pizza in the oven though... so don't worry. 


Billy (my roommate) has been kind enough to fill me in on some of the events of last night b/c I don't remember ALOT of it.
Me and JD were going to a poker game at Taylor's house and because we didn't want to play we stopped at a liquour store and bought a liter of Captain Morgan and 4 liters of Diet Coke b/c JD is retarded and likes Diet Coke. When we finished this I went and played with Taylor's dogs. Taylor has a mut and 2 full size american bulldogs that have a fetish for gloves. When I say fetish... I mean if someone is wearing gloves, they will attack you. I found this very interesting so I got taylor to get me some of his thick leather work gloves and I decided I would take them outside and play. Those dogs were vicious... but alot of fun. Since we were a little toasty we thought it would be a good idea to go out to a bar. This is where I go blank on all events...
From what billy tells me, the following are random spontanious happenings in no specific order:
*I asked the waitress for 4 giant stacks of napkins... using my pointer finger and thumb to show her the size of one stack... then, like an old man telling a fishing story, I show her what 4 stacks of napkins look like by pretending there is a 3 foot stack between my hands... I was later told my view of proportions did not add up. Foolishly she brought me napkins which I immediately threw everywhere. Thankfully she was entertained.
*I announced to the bar that I had a 4 foot "dong"
*I got a waitress to give me a kiss on the cheek... then complained that it was from "the ugly one" (which she wasn't)
*I took a bottle of ketchup and poured its contents on the condiments and menu in the center of the table... and when told not to do it... did it again with more authority.... then was caught and scolded by the waitress.
*Aparently I had 2 24ounce beers and one shot of Jagermeister then gave my second shot to the waitress.
(blog pause for hours of laying on the couch and running to the bathroom to vomit... looks like there were consequences for actions after all)
*I helped stacked barstools when they were closing so that was nice
*When we got home JD tried to lock me in the garage and threw eggs at me