Charlie and the Chocolate Crap Movie

Originally Posted: June 17, 2007

I was attempting to watch the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on TBS, but 2 songs into it, I couldn't take it anymore. People say that the new one was supposed to be more 'dark' and in line with the book. I wouldn't know because I don't read (I don't know how... and to be honest... I'm amazed that I've made all these blogs. I just push buttons and whatever the spell checker makes of the jumbled words is what gets posted.)
SO, I'm a big fan of singing songs at my house. Aloud. Especially if it's songs from old movies. This said, during the new charlie and the chocolate factory, I began singing the old songs during the new movie in an attempt to make it better (not even J.Depp could make this stinker good). I had no problem singing the first song, from when Charlie found the last golden ticket, " I never dreamed that I could fly, over the moon in ecstasy.... etc." It's one of my favorite songs. I had no problem singing it... b/c they completely removed that song. BOO. BOO to you good sirs. I would also like to note that the umpa lumpa songs no longer had any potent moral values included. They were just some sad form of crappy midget pop. Once song 2 came about, post Violet turning violet, I was ready to change the channel. I'll take an old, well written and produced older movie over a new graphically enhanced turd on tape any day of the week.

For you poor people that are unfamiliar with some movies that have been tragically redone, I would like to inform you of their originals. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), The Nutty Professor(1963), Dr. Dolittle(1967), The Shaggy Dog(1959), Fun with Dick and Jane (1977), Flight of the Pheonix (1965)
From what I hear, soon to be added to this list: Tron(1982)
I hate those bastards at Disney.

"Cause I've got a golden ticket. I've got a golden chance to make my way... and with a golden ticket its a golden day!"